Temptation

i am experiencing my first temptation since being diagnosed...a DOM friend of mine, who i have played with twice before, has said that He would provide me a pain release through flogging, whipping, etc if i wanted. This seems like a no-brainer..we would not have sex, i would get my pain release and be left with beautiful marks...but it is not that simple. For one, i may have exposed this man to herpes without knowing it--i have told Him this so my concern is that He would use the chance to give me a pain release as a means of retaliation...i don't THINK He would, but that fear is nagging in the back of my head. The second reason is i think it would be really awkward and hard to not be sexual--i will feel guilty receiving the pain release and providing Him nothing...i have asked what He would like in return, but have not heard an answer yet. Third, i am afraid that He or i will be so concerned about POSSIBLY spreading the herpes to Him that i will not be able to relax enough to enjoy the pain.

Problem is i REALLY crave pain at times...and WANT to do this SO bad, but my conscience is telling me not to. i know that not getting a pain release is at least part of what ended my relationship with my former Master...my former Master never seemed to understand the need for pain, and never understood how to take me from pain to pleasure...THIS FWB DOM does...i just have to decide if i can do that with Him again given the circumstances.