I have been gone for quite a while...it doesn't really matter what I was doing...but I have a greater understanding on my submissive desires now...I have struggled with craving, yearning, needing to be submissive and then, on the flip side, abhoring, fearing and fighting with my need to be submissive. Is it okay for me to crave that cocooned and safe feeling that being sub gives me? Is it okay for me to crave, at times, sex so brutal that I am left in tears, sore and needing? Is it okay that this desire to be obedient and "good" seems to fly in the face of what everyone thinks I am like????
After struggling with these and so many other questions, I have decided that the answer to all these is "yes"...it may not be "common", "conservative", "nice"...but my needs are not wrong...quite often I require pain to feel anything remotely resembling pleasure and that is OKAY...sometimes I want to feel like a victim, feel used, feel belittled and that is OKAY...it is OKAY that I enjoy sex, that I want sex, that I need sex and to be used sexually in order to feel complete...that is OKAY...sexuality is normal...humans tendencies to supress sexuality is not....
So there! :)
4 years ago