Rape Scene

i have wanted to do a rape scene for as long as i can remember –even as a young girl, i used rape fantasies to masturbate. i have tried, several times, to find a man who i would feel comfortable enough with to do the rape fantasy with but never had any success. i think my Master and i may incorporate this fantasy at some point—i just hope that my lack of fear of my Master and my intense love for Him does not prevent me from fully surrendering to the fantasy—that could only lead to FRUSTRATION! LOL

my ideal rape fantasy would begin with me asleep in bed in a t-shirt and panties..the rapist would come in and put one hand over my mouth, the other around my throat—squeezing just enough to make his point and threatening me with death if i didn’t cooperate. i would struggle and he would restrain me—then begin grabbing, groping, roughly fingering me, ripping my panties down, pushing my t-shirt up. He would get on top of me and fuck my mouth, holding my hands down, not letting up when i gagged, cried, begged. Then he would move to my pussy, which unfortunately would be dripping wet at this point so the friction would not be as intense as i want, but he would push into me with no thought of my comfort, driving his cock into me again and again…then because i would keep struggling, he would threaten me that if i moved again he was going to take my ass..i would struggle and my ass would be entered painfully and fully. i want to be at the point of sobs, in pain, and frightened by the time the rapist was finished…i want it as close to a real rape as possible.

Damn! Just writing this has moistened my panties! LMAO

Photo from recent "Naughty" time!

Here is just one of the pictures my Master took when He hog-tied me the other night--i LOVE this pic!

Good, Bad, and Naughty

It has been a challenging week for my Master...i have been a very unpredictable slave. When i have been good, i have been VERY good. When i have been bad, i have been revoltingly bad. And, like i was last night, when i have been naughty, i have been impishly so! i enjoy being a good girl for my Master but find that i push Him and challenge Him on emotional and trust things by being bad...by seeing how far i can push before He will discard me. i think i do this so that i can try to force Him to be the ass that i assume lies beneath the surface of all men...i do this to push it to the painful end that i assume is coming...i am waiting for the bottom to drop out. i have to give Master a lot of credit...so far He has remained steadfast and unflappable--He has gotten irate with me without a doubt and i have been punished and have punishments waiting for me, but He has not delved into treating me like the piece of shit that i expect to be treated like, He has maintained that He loves me, will be patient with me, will train me to become the good sub He sees in me...my Master is not a player, He is a true DOM who understands and accepts the responsibilities involved with being a DOM. D/s is SO much about complete, open, blunt, painfully honest communication-at least for me and other subs i have spoken with who are in comitted long-term D/s relationships. i try to be completely honest with Master about my feelings, my desires, my needs...the exposed, vulnerable feeling that comes with that honesty is amazing...to know that He knows things about me that i have shared with almost no one and yet He still loves me...to know that He knows my sexual desires, that i can be as sexual of a woman as i desire, that i can tell Him a deep sexual fantasy and know that He will fulfill it in His due time....is ALL very arousing and helps keep me motivated to be a good girl for my Master.

then there is the naughty side of me...which came out last night--LOL--my Master had just finished cumming inside of me and told me to wait to play more..i didn't want to wait! lol So i kept touching, rubbing, grabbing His cock...He warned me that if i continued He would hog-tie me--welllllll...that was NOT exactly a DISINCENTIVE! LOL Needless to say, i was hog-tied! and i LOVED it!! Master is a photographer and took pictures of me in bondage...some, i must say, turned out VERY nice! LOL i very much enjoyed being restrained, enjoyed knowing that my Master could do anything He wanted and what He wanted to do was photograph my body...so many others would have taken that opportunity to sexually use me..Master used the time to create art with my body--now THAT is hot! And certainly gives me motivation to be naughty again soon!

When love and domination come together

okay this is totally going to sound cliche but i am in love...my Master is an amazing, kind, sweet, good man...He knows so many of my flaws and yet continues to tell me how much He loves me...He dominates me, He allows me to serve Him in daily life, not just sexually, He owns me...and yet although i love Him and feel the incredible love FROM Him, i have never been more confused in my life! i love Him intensely and want to serve Him in all ways, but since He is a kind DOM and i am used to a harsh DOM, i find myself drifting into "girlfriend" mode at times--something which i am humiliated to admit. i crave for my Master to beat me, to not give a shit about me, to show me how worthless i am as a sub...probably so that the fear of being loved will subside and i can retreat from Him emotionally...but my Master is not willing to have me fear Him and does not want me to retreat from Him, which i understand even if my mind wishes He would.

i have never had anyone love me before...my relationship with my ex-partner was out of convenience...this is so foreign...just trying to find something familiar.

Sounds

Had an interesting and erotic experience with my Master the other evening...i rarely wish to post my sexual experiences with Master Todd since times with Him are incredibly intimate, incredibly connected, however THIS was such an unexpected and unusual experience that it is something i wish to share. i was laying on His bed, legs spread with a speculum inside me...VERY nice sensation...but that was only the beginning. i felt a strange sensation...like someone was rubbing my clit from the inside--felt GREAT. i kept asking Him what He was doing and He would not allow me to see...finally He raised up and showed me the tool He was using--it was a urethral sound...He had inserted into my urethra and it felt GREAT! Funny thing was that i knew He had these and had FREAKED when He showed them to me initially--saying that i did NOT want those used on me--LOL little did i know how wonderful it would feel!! i am SO glad that He did not listen to me! LMAO!!

Needless to say, i highly recommend ANYONE trying this--it is WELL worth it!!